


The Precipice of Adulthood

by Jacqualine



Series: Red Jacket Series [3]
Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Bonfire, Drunkenness, F/M, Not quite the red jacket
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:28:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25805866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacqualine/pseuds/Jacqualine
Summary: What if Gilbert had been aware of Anne's intoxication at the graduation bonfire?
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Series: Red Jacket Series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1863106
Comments: 3
Kudos: 165





	The Precipice of Adulthood

**Author's Note:**

> It always irked me that someone as perceptive as Gilbert wouldn't somehow realize that Anne and all the others were drunk. I also can't imagine an Avonlea where Gilbert shows up at a party and Moody and Charlie don't see him, or talk to him?

She was being completely honest when she said she hadn't planned on it. These things just kept happening to her.

She ran through the forest, she could hear the sounds of the others laughing and crashing through the brush, before she burst out into the field that led to the beach. She stood with Tillie and Jane, after the cruel prank they had played on Anne, the danger of their actions had hit home, and even Josie had sincerely apologized, they hadn't mended all their problems but for a final celebration as schoolmates of Avonlea, she could set aside her reservations. 

One of the Paul's had produced a bottle of moonshine, and Diana, her former bosom friend, took the first taste. Soon it was Anne's turn, and when the burning, horrible tasting liquid hit her stomach, it threatened to immediately reappear, she swallowed it down and took another swallow, she wanted to be happy, she wanted to forget her fight with Diana, forget the way her stomach hurt when she had seen Gilbert escorting Winifred Rose to the fair, forget that he was going to propose to Winnifred.

They lit a fire and they all got drunk, dancing around it, laughing and screaming with laughter. It was their last days as children, they were on the precipice of adulthood and their futures, they celebrated with wild abandon.

Somehow she ended up on top of the overturned, half buried rowboat and was doing not only her best pirate impression but telling her best pirate jokes, spinning around and laughing into the night.

"May I speak with you please?" 

She stopped, her body still swaying from the moonshine and looked down at him, dressed in his best clothes for his dinner with the Rose's. Always the gentleman, Gilbert offered his hand to help her off the boat. The others were all running up and down the beach so she led him to the fire...where he began to tell her about the Sorbonne, a flat in Paris...his dreams of the future. A future she didn't fit into.

She never really allowed herself to believe that she could have him. Sure for an hour on the day of the fair she had let herself begin to hope...but the appearance of the divine Winifred had properly doused that dream, but not the feelings, even in the firelight that was casting shadows over his cheekbones, she felt her heart fluttering. He was asking her something but she didn't understand the question, if only she hadn't partaken in so much moonshine.

"I don't understand...what's holding you back?" She asked him. 

"Just one thing." He answered. He was staring at her, his face an indecipherable mask of emotion, he was clearly feeling something very strongly, and he was unsure of the right choice, she just couldn't translate what his eyebrows were saying. Was she the one thing? Did he expect her to declare her love for him? She liked him, she thought he was probably the perfect male specimen...at least for her ideals, but did she love him? She couldn't say for certain she did, could she risk upturning his life now and then one day in a few months, come to decide she didn't love him. He was staring at her, waiting for her answer and it felt so immense, this was a life changing moment, how could she decide for herself when she was just 16? 

How could she decide for him? Her decision could cast a shadow over Winifred's life too...how was she expected to control the destiny of two other people...when she was so unsure about her own feelings...and she was really intoxicated. He was still staring at her, waiting for her answer, she opened her mouth to speak and then she lost all coherency. 

"What am I supposed...I'm just...pirate..we never even...that much I know...how can I...we...?" She trailed off, he looked confused but she could see pain in his eyes, she hadn't given him the answer he had must have been hoping for. 

"Anne...we want to do the Beltane ceremony again." Ruby squealed running up to Anne.

"I..."

"We need you to say the words Anne." Tille grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet.

"Come on ladies, wouldn't you rather have another drink of shine?" One of the Pauls called out to them.

"Shine?" Gilbert repeated. "Have you been drinking Anne?"

"We all have been. You should too." Ruby laughed dragging Anne away from him. 

"Gilbert...? Anne said one last time.

"Our conversation can wait until tomorrow, when you are more clear headed." He said to her, turning and walking toward the group of boys. She saw them all shake his hand and the the bottle was passed to him, he took a drink and then she was pulled into the words for Beltane.

She spent the rest of the night in foggy haze, from the heady combination of the alcohol and the way Gilbert Blythe was making her feel. Any conversation, laugh, dance she participated in, she could see him, whether in the circle of people she was talking to, or in his own circle of people but never taking his eyes off her. 

His words tumbled around in her mind, had she worked it out, was she the one thing that was keeping him from the perfect wife, life and future? Could she live with herself if she stole that future from him? She should say no, she wasn't worth such a great loss, she was ugly orphan trash, she couldn't take his future from him...no matter how much she was tempted to.

When the fire died down the party started breaking up, with the boys offering to walk the girls home. Since they all went the same way, it only made sense for Gilbert to walk with Anne and Diana, the two girls were still in a fight and not talking, the conversation was between Diana and Gilbert, Anne walked and listened but said nothing. She would tell him tonight, no sense drawing it out and beating around the bush. She would be clear and direct and encourage him to make the right choice...Winifred Rose.

Diana was safely inside her home and they took the forest path that would lead them to Green Gables. Anne felt the night air through her dress. "Anne..."

"Gilbert, I understand now what you were trying to say earlier. And you would be a fool not to do it." She told him.

"You think I should marry Winifred?" He asked her. 

"If it is everything you want...why wouldn't you seize the opportunity?" She asked him, feeling so cold now, that they were in the conversation, involuntary shivers were coursing through her body.

"It's not everything I want, though. True, I want to go to the Sorbonne, to be a doctor that is making real change through research, but she isn't the woman I see when I close my eyes. Hers isn't the voice I hear in my heart."

"She could be in time...you could learn to love her."

"I could care for her, but I don't think I could ever love her. Is it fair to marry her without the promise of undying love? Would you marry in these circumstances?" He asked, she shivered again. "You're cold." He said and removed his dark suit jacket, offering to her, holding it open so she could simply slip her arms in. She closed her eyes and she let the coat envelop her, his scent invading her nose. 

"I seem to be wearing your coat again."

"It does happen quite a lot."

"How does it look?" She laughed trying to lighten the mood, she lifted her arms and made a clumsy curtsey.

"You're missing a key component." He smiled back before removing his cap and dropping it on her head. "Beautiful." He actually picked up a lock of her hair and let it slide through his fingers. They stood on the dark path, looking into each other's eyes, his eyes kept dropping to her lips and she felt like he was about to kiss her. 

"It's late we should keep going." She said to him, breaking the spell, he fell in line beside her, close enough that their arms sometimes brushed against one another, but the length of his jacket kept her hands covered, so there was no chance for fingers to brush. They walked in their own silence, but the night was filled with frog songs, night birds and the soft drone of insects. His words kept returning to her, each time she felt a tug at her heart. Would she marry if it was only convenient? Her entire life it seemed as if her only options were spinsterhood or a marriage of convenience, an older bachelor or widower...someone who married her out of need and not love. She wasn't the kind of girl a man fell hopelessly in love with, one who would inspire poetry and romance. No she was the kind of girl a man chose when there weren't any other options...maybe she should go out west when she was done school, she heard there were not enough women for all the men heading west. The idea of settling for someone, just because it was opportune, it just felt wrong.

"I don't think I would marry without the promise of love." She told him. "I want to live a life filled with love, laughter, and wonder. I want every day to be an adventure, even if it's just a simple walk through the woods."

"You deserve that Anne. You deserve to not only be cherished, but to be recognized as the treasure you are, for your mind, wit and passion. The man who marries you and makes you his equal will be the luckiest man alive." And she heard it, the awe in his voice, the sincerity he had when he spoke, it wasn't just words to him. He truly felt that way about her.

"Even if I'm not your dream?" She asked, they were at the gate that opened up by the barn. 

"You're my only dream, the only wish my heart asks for. You Anne...my Anne with an E, only you could find me in the middle of the ocean and bring me back here." He turned to her, taking her hands in his, thumb stroking over her knuckles his eyes full of the romance that Ruby always spoke of. 

"The Sorbonne..."

"Can wait. My french is atrocious anyway. I'll achieve my other dreams, but none of them matter without you."

"Gilbert...I, I don't know what I feel for you. I just know that when I think of a future, and you aren't in it, it feels wrong and it hurts."

"We have time to figure all that out, if you and I promise each other right now, we don't have to make any public declarations, no pressure, no eyes watching our every move, just a promise that we will have no suitors but each other, I will tell Winnie tomorrow...I promise to wait for you."

"And if it takes years for me to be sure?"

"Then I'll just have to work harder at wooing you." 

"I promise." She nodded. He lifted her hands to his lips, kissing each one, causing a strange sensation deep inside of her.  
"Good night Anne." He told her, watching her slip in through the gate and up to the door before turning and headed for his own home. 

She was in her room and reaching for her nightgown when she remembered she still had his jacket and hat on. She put them back on over her nightgown, pulling the cap low on her head to cover her eyes, and wrapped her arms around herself, inhaling the scent of him, lingering on his coat. She fell asleep with a blissful smile on her face.

**Author's Note:**

> So not quite his red and black jacket, but it fits into the series and his Sunday clothes deserve some love too.


End file.
